


And Yet I Still Love You

by StarsAboveStarsBelow



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Violence, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Toxic Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships, just kidding there's no comfort, one slight mention of blood, short sentences to be dramatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:48:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23807908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarsAboveStarsBelow/pseuds/StarsAboveStarsBelow
Summary: And yet I still love you.I love you till the sun dies.I love you till the ocean dries up.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua & Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	And Yet I Still Love You

**Author's Note:**

> This is in Joshua's perspective. English is not my first nor my second language. Hope it'll suffice.

I lie next to you in our warm bed. The clock reads 3:00 AM but my eyes are still wide open. Your breathing is calm and you sleep soundly.

I sit up, legs folded in front of me, and head buried in my hands as I start to cry softly.

I’m aware that I’m broken.

_Breaking. Broken. Gone._

All of my pieces scattered thanks to you. You broke me. You were never satisfied when I was whole so you started to chip and chip away at me until I’m left with nothing.

You haunt me when I’m awake; you haunt me when I’m asleep. Your memory looms over me and it’s pushing me down until I’m met face to face with the cold tiles on the floor. 

_And yet I still love you. I love you till the sun dies. I love you till the ocean dries up._

I try to collect my pieces and stick them back together so that one day I can be ready for you, but I need more time.

You don’t notice the way I’m suffocated underneath everything or how I’m buried and held captive. 

But I forgive you and I'll always forgive you. I kiss you and I hug you. I tell you “it’s okay” and “it’ll be fine” but I wish you’d know that I want you to do the same for me. I wish you’d hold me and look at me with adoration or even just a slight shadow of emotion, but instead I’m met with blood and half-assed apologies. I want you to realize that “okay” and “fine” are meaningless in my vocabulary because I will never be a fraction of that bright person I used to be. Thanks to you, brightness turned into darkness, and now everything is dull and hazy.

_I’m not okay. I’m not fine._

Forgetting is so much harder than forgiving. I’m not strong enough to forget so I stay, I forgive, and I remember.

I take it all in; all the bad. There’s no good left for us anymore.

_And yet I still love you. I love you till the sun dies. I love you till the ocean dries up._


End file.
